5 Yucky Things Moms Shouldn’t Do in Public

Moms, we resort to doing some pretty nasty things while caring for our young ones. Whether its primitive maternal instincts coming out or the exhaustion forcing us to do whatever’s most convenient, these things happen on a regular basis in our homes and we don’t think a thing of it. Living in the mess and grime of a child filled home desensitizes us, but, it was brought to my attention recently, that others might not be as accustomed to this kind of lifestyle. In fact, they might be completely disgusted when they see us doing these yucky things because they don’t understand the norm we live in.

I’ve decided it would only be courteous that we as moms try to find alternatives for the gross things we tend to do. If you would like to join me in this, here are 5 yucky things moms shouldn’t do in public.

1. The Spit Wash- Do you remember as a kid, you would be eating your lunch or playing outside when all of the sudden your mom grabs the back of your head, slobbers on her thumb, and then (cue Jaws music) directs that thing right at your face and smears it around to clean you? I used to hate when my mom did that, but now that I have a little boy that’s always getting dirty, I can’t help myself. I give him spit washes all the time, but have had some funny looks when doing it in public. Any other moms guilty of this yucky thing? Lets reach for the wipes when others are in view
2. The Butt Sniff- When you’ve changed 8 diapers a day for a good year or two of your life, you become rather comfortable with your child’s hind end. Checking a diaper for messiness is just something you have to do all the time. I get it. But, I’m also a mom. Those who aren’t blessed with children see you lifting the back of your baby’s pants to stick your nose in and get a good whiff are horrified. Spare them the sight and sniff discreetly or not at all.
3. The Nose Wipe- Ah, the joys of cold and flu season! Imagine yourself going about your very busy day, juggling a million things at once and you look down at your kid and green mucus is dripping from their dear little nose. You could scramble for a tissue in the blackhole of your purse, or use whatever’s most handy: a shirt, a grocery list, your hand…) This is disgusting to the rest of the world. Take the extra time to find that tissue, please
4. The Pacifier off the Floor Lick- You would never put something that just fell on a public floor into your fragile child’s mouth! So, when those pacifiers go shooting from baby’s mouth to roll around on the floor a little, you do only what is necessary to sanitize it: you stick it in your own mouth. A little mom slobber will clean anything right? Turns out that’s gross to some people. Who would have thought?
5. Finally, The Community Drink- You share everything with your kids. From food to clothes, books and belongings, to the very cup you drink out of. It doesn’t bother you when your child takes one gulp to big and half of it returns (along with some added chunks) to your cup, but when other’s see this, they will lose all appetite. My husband has been the poor victim of this grossity too many times. Maybe it would be a good idea not to share your cup with your kids in public.

Moms I’m totally with you on choosing convenience over propriety, and, in your own home, it’s fine to do those yucky things, but the public might not be ready to embrace parenthood in that way, so lets keep our spit washing, butt sniffing, nose wiping, paci licking, and community drinking to a discreet minimum.